Empathy is an enormous concept. Most of us have deliberated upon the meaning of empathy, which is the ability to understand another person’s thoughts and feelings from their point of view, rather than your own. And how it differs from sympathy, where a person is touched by the thoughts and feelings of another but maintains an emotional distance. Dr. Brene Brown consolidates the processes which underlie emphatic behavior –
Empathy is simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of you’re not alone.
Empathy can be understood with the help of three basic components as identified by Renowned psychologists Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman.
Cognitive: “Also known as perspective-taking, it is simply knowing how the other person feels and what they might be thinking.” However, having only cognitive empathy keeps you at a distance from the other person.
Emotional: “When you actually feel along with the other person, as though their emotions were rubbing on yourself.” This type of empathy may also extend to physical sensations, don’t we often cringe when someone else stubs their toe..? In this case, you would look inwards to identify a situation where you were similarly pained.
Compassionate: “This component of empathy enables us not only to understand a person’s predicament and feel with them but spontaneously move to help if needed.” We certainly should use the insights for it is the balance between Cognitive and Emotional Empathy that enables us to act without being overcome with feeling or jumping straight into a process of problem-solving.
By learning to empathize with friends, coworkers, and those around, one may build stronger relationships and trust. It is, therefore, a conscious choice that we have to make. The more we practice empathy, the more intuitive we become at it. The benefits cannot be emphasized enough. Primarily, empathy helps you establish and build social connections with others. Having a social support network is, in and of itself, an important protective factor when dealing with stress. It also curbs loneliness, decreased immunity and depression. Having said that, the aching fact is – empathy among young people has declined significantly over the past few decades. Albeit, the exact causes for this decline are hard to determine, the research identifies the rise of social media, smaller family sizes, as well as the stringent pressure to succeed academically and professionally as some potential reasons for such a decline. Our fast-paced society does not often encourage us to take a moment to connect with others. Without empathy, people struggle to think about the interests of other individuals, so relationships suffer.
Whilst empathy doesn’t just happen naturally for a lot of people, no matter how old you are, it’s never too late to become more empathetic. In order to actively practice empathy in your daily life, consider the following ways given by Roman Krznaric, PhD:
- Cultivate curiosity, Seek out new perspectives and experiences
Curiosity expands our empathy. When we talk to people outside our usual social circle, encountering lives and worldviews very different from our own. Having honest conversations with them and learning about their lives expands our ability to be empathetic. “Putting yourself into someone else’s shoes” will be challenging if you do not know enough about the other person. Read articles and books from people of different backgrounds, volunteer at a social organization or start a conversation with a new co-worker or acquaintance!
- Absorb (Listen)— Express (Speak up)
There are two traits required for being an empathic conversationalist. One is to master the art of radical listening. Emphatic People listen hard to others and do all they can to grasp their emotional state and needs. The second trait is to make ourselves vulnerable. Shedding pretense and revealing our feelings to someone is vital for creating a strong empathic bond. Empathy is a two-way street that, at its best, is built upon mutual understanding—an exchange of our most important beliefs and experiences. While taking time to listen to someone actively to comprehend their situation, just right, without trying to problem solve right away, use your imagination to understand their experience, or think back to a time where you had similar feelings and emotions. Although, it’s not easy to have conversations about emotionally difficult matters and situations, expose yourself to such conversations, when the opportunity arises.
- Develop ambitious imagination
A distinguishing trait of highly emphatic people is that they do far more than empathize with the usual suspects. We tend to believe empathy should be reserved for those living on the social margins or who are suffering. This is necessary, but it is hardly enough. We also need to empathize with people whose beliefs we don’t share or who may be “adversaries” in some way. Wasn’t that remarkable of Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Junior who practiced and preached such a genuine empathy.
- Challenge prejudices and discover commonalities
We all have innate biases, or even collective labels often regarding race, gender, age or other factors. These biases give rise to notions and prejudices and prevent us from appreciating individuality or uniqueness about others. It curtails our capacity to empathize with people from different backgrounds or experiences. It is essential for us to become aware of our bias, challenge them, by searching for what they share with people rather than what divides them, thus creating space for empathy.
- Inspire mass action and social change
We typically assume empathy happens at the level of individuals, however, it is essential to broaden our vistas to consider that empathy can encompass a mass phenomenon and bring about fundamental social change. Beyond education, the big challenge is figuring out how social networking technology can harness the power of empathy to create a sense of fellowship and compassion. To propagate a narrative of affinity and forbearance over our social media handles, to use language sensitively will revolutionize social networks to establish an empathic connection.